Engaging Cooperation

"A feeble will, bad habits, an uninstructed conscience, stick by many a Christian man through his life, because his parents failed in their duty to him, and he has not had force enough in himself to supply their omission."
Charlotte Mason

I have had one of those weeks. You know, when you feel convinced that there is a really big problem in your home. But psttt, I'll let you in on a little secret- my kids aren't the problem- it's me. They are only acting the way that I have allowed or even trained them to behave (yikes!). Feet are dragging. Voices are whining and I have not wanted to slow the pace of learning to deal with these character issues. Bad idea. Ms. Mason refers to the following quote from Dr. Morell's Introduction to Mental Philosophy: "The education of the will is really of far greater importance, as shaping the destiny of the individual, than that of the intellect. . . . Theory and doctrine, and inculcation of laws and propositions, will never of themselves lead to the uniform habit of right action. It is by doing, that we learn to do; by overcoming, that we learn to overcome; and every right act which we cause to spring out of pure principles, whether by authority, precept, or example, will have a greater weight in the formation of character than all the theory in the world."

My children's problems are my responsibility. I have let bad behaviors develop into bad habits. But my children aren't bad. I have neglected to train their wills in certain areas. They are not being willfull, they are being willess . Charlotte Mason says, " The will is a gift of God and should be used to temper and direct every other gift into useful channels, whether beauty or genius or strength or skill." In other words, I have not been expecting them to use their will to guide their actions towards better behavior and I probably haven't been doing it myself. Hmmmm.

Ms. Mason goes on to explain that the will is not what drives us off course as in the "strong-willed" child. But it is the failure to exercise our will as balance to our natural inclinations that leads us astray. Our will is our "bit and bridle". This is summed up in one of Miss Mason's mottoes, "I am, I can, I ought, I will." (emphasis mine.)

I have to find a way to engage my children for the next three weeks. Again, Ms. Mason is helpful, "... invite his co-operation, let him heartily intend and purpose to do the thing he is bidden, and then it is his own will that is compelling him, and not yours; he has begun the greatest effort, the highest accomplishment of human life––the making, the compelling of himself. Let him know what he is about, let him enjoy a sense of triumph, and of your congratulation, whenever he fetches his thoughts back to his tiresome sum, whenever he makes his hands finish what they have begun, whenever he throws the black dog off his back, and produces a smile from a clouded face."

I think it's time to call a family meeting and discuss what all of us would like to accomplish in the next few weeks and purpose to only do those things that we can do with the habit of excellence and also joyful hearts.

Be Present

Charlotte Mason said, "Life should be all living, and not merely a tedious passing of time; not all doing or all feeling or all thinking––the strain would be too great––but, all living; that is to say, we should be in touch wherever we go, whatever we hear, whatever we see, with some manner of vital interest..."

I would like for my children (and me!) to be present in the moment. Notice the birds, the bugs, the flowers, trees. Look at the art that is on the wall. Really listen to the music.

Six Things to Include in Your Child's Day (for Grown Ups, too!)

I have this posted on my bulletin board in the kitchen:

Six Things to Include in Your Child's Day
1. Meaningful Work
2. Imaginative Play
3. Good Books
4. Beauty- art, music, nature
5. Ideas to ponder and discuss
6. Prayer

I copied this from a friend but I know it is derived from the teachings of Charlotte Mason. Charlotte was an educator in England in the early 20th century. Her motto for for learning was "Education is an atmosphere, a discipline, a life".